Random Fact: Home and Away will rot your BRAIN

Seriously, how is this one of the highest rating shows in Australia?

How f..king stupid must young people be?

Chuck Norris Fact of the Week

Chuck Norris’ coffee never goes cold.

Wilderness Society vs. Cape York Aborigines: Left vs Left

As a penguin without the shackles of ideology, I love it when idealogues tear themselves to pieces. Especially when both causes are lefty. Cape York aborignies gatecrashed a Wilderness Society fundraiser in Sydney to protest a law which prevents them from setting up business near gazetted lakes, rivers and streams. You know, making a living where the tribe is. Wilderness Society hits back with some Green rubbish that even though there is no tourism/ecological value, they must be saved from the scary aborigines.

Solution is simple. Move elsewhere. Australia is a big country. And Wilderness Society – why don’t you start in your own backyard.

It goes to show that left vs right is not the same as good vs. evil.

Medicare:What do you mean I can’t have something for nothing?

So Rudd is going to fix Medicare.

And people are howling that it will cost them another $1000 per annum to ensure they get better public healthcare than Mali.

When are people going to get it – things cost money – even for governments.

And without a money tree, we are the ultimate source of said money. Suck it in – a thousand bucks isn’t that much moolah.

Queensland: Australia’s answer to Alabama

Beenleigh: A new grocery store has opened in Queensland promising to halve your shopping bill. It business plan is to sell out of date foodstuffs at cut-down prices.

Kinda like what Crazy Clark’s does. Except with rancid food.

They also plan top extend their range soon with new Soylent Green range. It’s so cheap, you won’t care where it comes from.

Long time, no post

So I didn’t post yesterday. I was busy. I’ll make up for it by posting twice today.

Unfortunately this is one of them.

Penguin Review: Schöfferhofer Kristalweizen

Winnie the Pooh loved his honey. How he loved to p*ss off those bees by sucking the hive dry. There’s a reason we all love Winnie – because we relate to the love of honey.

Schöfferhofer Kristallweizen is a standard Bavarian-style weissbier. It’s not made in Bavaria though (Frankfurt-am-Main) – expect some snobbery. It more than makes up for it with a practical 500mL mansized bottle.

The bouqeut is all honey, with hints flowers, coriander. Interestingly, there is no honey in this beer, a delightful balance of wheat and barley malts does the trick. It tastes tastes sweet and light, the malt blend is fantastic.

Go out – let your tastebud be fooled. The Pooh Bear inside you will love it.

Chanelle Rae: Cyber-Bullying Suicide ‘Tragedy’

Melbourne: Cyber-bullying has claimed another life in Melbourne, with the funeral of Chanelle Rae today, who took her own life after being bullied on the internet.

What an enormous tragedy, that someone cruelly took her life by making vacuous and meaningless threats. She was sweet, bubbly and full of life….. is what I would say if I was a stupid human.

In these modern days of airbags, helmets, TV dinners and medical miracles, natural selection has been cast aside in favour of polluting the gene pool with people who are not smart enough, strong enough or quick enough to evade death. We penguins still live by these rules – and one day we will rise against the puny humans.

I say good riddance. You were 13. I highly doubt that your life would be ruined if your secrets were exposed. You will not pass on your fragile ego to a new generation.

Viva le natural selection!

Chuck Norris Fact of the Week

Chuck has the secret to peace in the Middle East.

He just likes it better when they fight.

The dangers of immunisation

I’m not a parent. I hate kids actually. As a penguin – I think I’d just eat them anyway…

One thing I do hear parents moan about a lot though is immunisation. The risks, the side-effects, whether they should or not.

How about a simple analogy. There is a small but finite chance that the helmet strap could choke you in an cycling accident. However, it is much more likely it will stop your melon being crushed like… a melon.

Prudent risk management is one of the things that separates us from apes.

At least some of us.