Subprime Aussie style – Part 1 – First Home Buyers Grant

What a time to be young. A first-home buyer in Victoria can pocket up to $40 000, just for buying a house. How could this be so?

The intent of the grant is to keep the great pyramid of owner-occupied housing afloat. You see, in Australia it is taken as verbatim fact that house prices always rise, and will always rise for eternity. This has been coupled with generous tax breaks for owner occupied housing, leading many pseudo-savvy ‘investors’ to tout that owning ones home is the best, and safest investment one can make. There are countless stories of people making hundreds of thousands of dollars playing with owner-occupied property, luring in the weak-minded with the kicker that the government collects no tax on your winnings.

There is just one problem. Housing is a zero-sum game. For elderly retirees to sell their houses at obscene prices, and spend their golden days blowing every penny, the market requires a supply of new money to pay these people off. While some of it comes from people upsizing their mortgages, most comes from new entrants to the market.

These new entrants are usually 20-somethings, with entry-level jobs and maybe alien parasite growing in the female.

For nearly a decade, the ponzi scheme went off without a hitch. In fact, few newcomers complained about housing prices at all. But as the grey cashed in their houses at ever increasing prices, entry level housing moved further, and further out of reach.

The market started to flatten. John ‘Devil’s altar boy’ Howard sense political revolt, and created perhaps one of the most politically devious schemes ever, the First Home Buyers Grant.

Everybody wins. First home buyers get the money. They give it to existing home owners. The merry-go-round keeps spinning.

What could possibly go wrong?

Was Palestine the best choice for Israel?

Why did the Jews choose Palestine to colonise and turn into their promised land of Israel?

Apart from the obvious – Jerusalem, it has nothing else going for it.

Their territory is tiny. All of their neighbours hate them, and do not acknowledge their statehood. There are no resources no fresh water, poor access to shipping lanes. It’s not suited to modern agriculture. Their neighbourly relations make them an enclave by land, with hostile enemies in all directions. They displaced a people that have since sworn avenge and war until their dying breath.

Why not choose somewhere with vast spaces far from their enemies? Take an otherwise wasted portion of the US. What about Canada, Australia, or an island or two in the Pacific. Hitler was hardly going to invade New Mexico, Yukon, Perth or Seychelles.

The fact is, that any moron could’ve seen that the Muslims would be upset about having their holy lands stolen by the Jews.

Their predicament is all their own making. And may never be solved.

The Barabs and Shmisraelies, and a city called Booboosalum

I am going to tell you a fictional story about two historic peoples in the Middle East. Lets call the Shmisraelies and Barabs.

Both of these communities have a lot in common. They are have radical religious elements that marginalise modern society, and the role of women. Both very insular, and this insularity has lead a heightened level of insecurity that ‘the world is out to get them’. Both have been persecuted over the past century by people identifying themselves with the populous religion of Shmistianity, giving the demons of insecurity something to feed on.

The Barab and the Shmisraeli both started in biblical times, a fact which is hardly surprising because both religions are based on a bible of sorts (Borah, and Buran respectively)

Both the Barabs and the Shmisraelies have a holy city in common: Booboosalum. In fact, Booboosalum and the region surrounding it is not only the setting for the stories in the Borah and Boran, but the very promised land.

The Barabs are a people that have oft been persecuted. They lived in many lands, with various empire, kings, presidents persecuting them for most of modern history. Governments have hunted, tortured and systemically murdered at brutal whims aimed at keeping the greater population malleable and content.

Now, they are fighting a war. They want to live in Shmisraeli territory. They fire rockets at Shmisrael. They kill women, children in tit-for-tat attacks. The war they are fighting is supported by all Barab-friendly governments, and Barab countries and allies must never trade with Shmisrael. They vehemently believe they are right, and they do not believe in Shmisrael’s current borders or their indeed their right to exist.

The Shmisraelis on the other hand, are a persecuted people. They have been the traditional custodians of the lands surrounding Booboosalum, ruling for hundreds of years. They’ve acquired the land around Booboosalum partly through immigration and partly through military force.

For them, Booboosalum is the land that God gave them. And it is their culture the fight for this land.

The people of Shmisrael are scared of the Barabs. There are countless stories of women and children brutally murdered by the Barabs in defenseless towns, that have never been used as a base to attack Barab land.

There is support for Shmisrael by various governments, but support is waning against a percieved brutality generally in a world that seems to have forgotten their predicament.

So, have you made your mind up?

Shmisralies are the Muslim Palestines, and Barabs are Jewish Israelies. A couple of details have been omitted, but if you think I’ve misrepresented something, check the facts – it’s your own preconception at work.

Preconception is dangerous. It skews facts, and bends truths. It makes aggressors look like defenders and tyrants look like statesmen.

Just like the preconception that Israel is Jewish land (rather than the chequered truth of a history of Jewish, Muslim and Catholic rule), and the Palestinians are the aggressors in the conflict.

The fact is that few people alive can remember when Modern Day Israel was Palestine, and predominantly a Muslim land. Few can remember that the reason that the entire Muslim world hates them is because they systemically persecute Muslims.

And that leads to preconceptions…

Keeping Melbourne moving – because Victorians are slow

I cannot believe that Melburnians can possibly be so devoid of intelligence that they need to be told not to park in clearways, and not to block intersections.

For anyone who hasn’t driven in Melbourne, these frequent acts of stupidity are just the tip of the iceberg. Here are some other informative road rule advertising aimed at Melbourne road users that didn’t make it to primetime tv…

One way streets: Different to two-way streets.

You don’t need to veer right to turn left.

How to avoid accidents with indicators.

Cutting off is not giving way.

If you want to drive at half the speed limit, get out of the right hand lane.

Two wrongs don’t make a right: you can’t double park people parked in clearways.

Roundabouts: the clockwise road.

Overtaking means going faster than the person you are overtaking, not staying next to them.

Turning left from the right hand lane across an 8-lane dual carriageway – a excuse to buy a new car.

Hey cyclists: If we give you a bike lane, we expect you to use it.

Scooters: You are not a motorbike. If you want to ride like a motorbike, get some testicles and a mode transport that doesn’t require oestrogen injections.

Opposition leader misleads public during attack on PM

Malcolm Turnbull has admitted there is no email linking Rudd to favourable treatment for car dealer John Grant..

So an opposition misled the parliament and the public to score cheap political points. And doesn’t care that it lied to us.

In other news, gravity pulls things to the ground.

Senator Hanson-Young: Leave the kids at home.

Senator Hanson-Young’s toddler was forcibly removed from parliament yesterday.

Apparently she was humiliated by the incident.

So she should be.

Leave the kids at home. I could’t imagine toddlers running amok during a BHP Billiton board meeting.

Why are there ‘calls’ to review parliament rules? What next, sleepovers in the PM’s office?

Any other professional is expected to separate their personal and professional lives, why do parents believe this doesn’t apply to them?

The business of running a country is not a sewing circle – give it the professionalism and decorum it deserves.

Election rigging in Iran: The boy who cried WOLF?

Is it just me or does nearly every election have claims of vote rigging.?

Sure, the Iranians are not exactly known for lassiez-faire governance, but there are countless examples of accusations:

- Bush 2000
- Bush 2004
- Obama 2008
- Kevin 07 (More mass hypnosis through boredom – and the fact most peopke thought they were voting for Tin Tin)
- Venezuela (Ever since the revolution)
- Malawi (2009)
- Ghana (2008)
- Italy (200 )
- Zimbabwe (2008)
- Haiti (2006)
- Mexico (2009)

The list goes on.

I can’t help but to think that they can’t all be rigged. And if that is the case, then a very vocal minority are squandering future political capital beating the cr.p out of a straw man.

Instead of protesting because you didn’t win, why not have deep reflection as too why you haven’t convinced enough people to vote.

Because when the votes really are rigged, no one outside your pitifzul country will care – just ask Zimbabwe.

Israel ready to grant Palestine Statehood

What, you thought he was serious?

Statehood without a military or foreign policy has another name. It’s called a protectorate….

Next you are going to tell me you believed Kim Jong-Il whenhe said he was binning the nukes…

Peter ‘Smirkmaster’ Costello quits politics

It appears he took Mr T’s advice, and got some nuts.

We will be blessed with our last smirk before the 2010 federal election.

He never became PM. People never took him seriously. But the man did some things that some big hitters in Aussie politics never did:

- Left politics of his own free will (Howard).
- Number one in media mentions (Turnbull, Nelson).
- Tattled to Dad about Johnny’s lies. (Joyce)
- Crushed the Liberal Party into a pathetic pulp (Beazley).
- Nerdiest man in politics (Rudd).
- Counted to 10 (Swan).

Congrats to Pete.

Commiserations to the private sector.

Prime Minister Kevin Rudd anoints Julia Gillard as next PM

Canberra: Today, PM Rudd has blessed Julia Gillard as his successor as PM.

‘I think it is fair to say, Julia is the heir apparent. And unlike Costello when he was heir apparent, her hair is actually apparent. She is the perfect person to keep this governments agenda of confusing the masses into submission ob track,’ Rudd was quoted at a press conference.

When asked about factional pressure on the subject, Rudd was unapolagetic. ‘When the factions come to me about this, I’ll be telling them there is no room is Australian politics for political argy bargy.’

Julia accepted the nomination with grace, ‘I’m flattered that Kevvy thinks that of me. Please excuse me, I have some knife sharpening to do.’

Opposition Leader Turnbull could hardly believe his luck, ‘This is just another example of tthis governments incompetence. First an emissions trading scheme, and now endorsing a wranger for PM. Do I need to say any more?’

Anyway Julia, by the time you are holding the torch there will be too much petrol around to take it. Don’t believe me, ask ol’ mate Peter Costello….