Chuck Norris Fact of the Week

Chuck Norris’ coffee never goes cold.

Queensland: Australia’s answer to Alabama

Beenleigh: A new grocery store has opened in Queensland promising to halve your shopping bill. It business plan is to sell out of date foodstuffs at cut-down prices.

Kinda like what Crazy Clark’s does. Except with rancid food.

They also plan top extend their range soon with new Soylent Green range. It’s so cheap, you won’t care where it comes from.

Chuck Norris Fact of the Week

Chuck has the secret to peace in the Middle East.

He just likes it better when they fight.

Chuck Norris Fact of the Week

There are three types of people in this world.

Those who are Chuck Norris, and those who aren’t.

Chuck Norris Fact of the Week

No, you can’t take him anywhere.

Credit to randomfunnypicture.com.

In Other News: Dog mauls endangered penguins

Sydney: Eight endangered fairy penguins have been cruelly attacked by a dog on Sydey’s Northern Beaches. Four have died from the attack.

Local volunteers are said to be shocked by brutal attack.

‘I can’t believe that a dog could do this. These beautiful penguins are completely defenseless, and the dog showed no mercy. How could it be so heartless? It is such a devastating loss.’ wept Laurie Hart.

Greenpeace spokesperson Ari Gant is appalled ‘that an animal could possibly eat another animal. It is just unnatural. I mean, what to dogs think they are, animals?’

PETA, People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals, are pushing for changes to the law. They say that dogs should be tried as adults, and also be eligible for the death penalty (sic).

The actual reporting of this incident highlights two major bombshells about nature that are sure to shock any greenie:
1. Even endangered animals die sometime after they are born, like all living things,
2. That animals eat other animals (ever heard of the food chain?).

In other news, scientists have discovered that it is darker at night than during the day.

Chuck Norris Fact of the Week

Chuck doesn’t pay to access the internet, the internet pays to access Chuck.

Wallabies in drug furore – again

Tasmanian wallabies have been feasting on legal opium crops gown for pharmaceuticals.

In 2006 Wallabies star player Wendell Sailor was busted for cocaine. Native wallabies have now been caught with opium.

The governing body for rugby union in Australia, ARU is said to be shocked by these developments, and is reviewing its contracts to have the wallaby as a mascot. ((Major sponsors, including Louis Wallabe, who make handbags and other luxury goods from wallaby hide* are rumored to have cancelled their sponsorship deal.

* Not clear whether Wallaby hide or wallaby hide is used.

Chuck Norris Fact of the Week

When Chuck goes up, he doesn’t come down.

Chuck Norris Fact of the Week

Chuck can have his cake and eat it too.