Chuck Norris Fact of the Week

Chuck has the secret to peace in the Middle East.

He just likes it better when they fight.

The Barabs and Shmisraelies, and a city called Booboosalum

I am going to tell you a fictional story about two historic peoples in the Middle East. Lets call the Shmisraelies and Barabs.

Both of these communities have a lot in common. They are have radical religious elements that marginalise modern society, and the role of women. Both very insular, and this insularity has lead a heightened level of insecurity that ‘the world is out to get them’. Both have been persecuted over the past century by people identifying themselves with the populous religion of Shmistianity, giving the demons of insecurity something to feed on.

The Barab and the Shmisraeli both started in biblical times, a fact which is hardly surprising because both religions are based on a bible of sorts (Borah, and Buran respectively)

Both the Barabs and the Shmisraelies have a holy city in common: Booboosalum. In fact, Booboosalum and the region surrounding it is not only the setting for the stories in the Borah and Boran, but the very promised land.

The Barabs are a people that have oft been persecuted. They lived in many lands, with various empire, kings, presidents persecuting them for most of modern history. Governments have hunted, tortured and systemically murdered at brutal whims aimed at keeping the greater population malleable and content.

Now, they are fighting a war. They want to live in Shmisraeli territory. They fire rockets at Shmisrael. They kill women, children in tit-for-tat attacks. The war they are fighting is supported by all Barab-friendly governments, and Barab countries and allies must never trade with Shmisrael. They vehemently believe they are right, and they do not believe in Shmisrael’s current borders or their indeed their right to exist.

The Shmisraelis on the other hand, are a persecuted people. They have been the traditional custodians of the lands surrounding Booboosalum, ruling for hundreds of years. They’ve acquired the land around Booboosalum partly through immigration and partly through military force.

For them, Booboosalum is the land that God gave them. And it is their culture the fight for this land.

The people of Shmisrael are scared of the Barabs. There are countless stories of women and children brutally murdered by the Barabs in defenseless towns, that have never been used as a base to attack Barab land.

There is support for Shmisrael by various governments, but support is waning against a percieved brutality generally in a world that seems to have forgotten their predicament.

So, have you made your mind up?

Shmisralies are the Muslim Palestines, and Barabs are Jewish Israelies. A couple of details have been omitted, but if you think I’ve misrepresented something, check the facts – it’s your own preconception at work.

Preconception is dangerous. It skews facts, and bends truths. It makes aggressors look like defenders and tyrants look like statesmen.

Just like the preconception that Israel is Jewish land (rather than the chequered truth of a history of Jewish, Muslim and Catholic rule), and the Palestinians are the aggressors in the conflict.

The fact is that few people alive can remember when Modern Day Israel was Palestine, and predominantly a Muslim land. Few can remember that the reason that the entire Muslim world hates them is because they systemically persecute Muslims.

And that leads to preconceptions…

Israel would like top ban ‘Catastrophe Day’

Depending on which side of the fence you live in downtown Jerusalem, May 15th is either Independence Day, or Catastrophe Day.

To me, this says it all. One groups day of celebration is another’s day of mourning.

To the Israelites, it is clear cut. No one should be drawing doubt to the legitimacy of Israel by mourning on its day of independence. This train of thought has lead to a movement to ban any recognition of ‘Catastrophe Day’ in Israel. (I would imagine by what is left of the Arab community – why you would want to live in a country that hates you is beyond me)

But what would Israel do if modern-day Germany banned recognition of ‘Holocaust Remembrance Day’ (fell on April 21 this year). Now Israel has not been accused of systematically murdering Palestinians, but the point is there are always two sides to the story.

One voice should not be muzzled just because a particular group don’t like it. Remember – the intent of the Holocaust was to muzzle Jewish influence on German society. You are only showing ignorance to your own history by peddling this nonsense.